Irene's Secret Tips, Products, and Interviews Geared Towards Showing Adolescent Girls How to Thrive and Excel in Our Cultural Times!

Parents Should Create Reasonable Rules

Posted on: February 24, 2010

          It is very important for your parents to create
           reasonable rules that you could live by that are
           not too constricting but that can teach you a lot
           of valuable lessons about perspicacity and
           character strength.
          
           We don’t often think of love, discipline, and self-
           esteem in the same breath. However, they are
           connected. Self-esteem thrives when you create
           circumstances where your daughter can stretch,
           experiment and take risks without fear.
          
           One of the most basic requirements for creating
           this environment is a good, clear, and consistently
           enforced set of rules. Some people mistakenly believe
           that to foster a child’s self-esteem, they need to
           abandon or at least loosen discipline. Some critics
           of self-esteem based psychology worry that parents
           and teachers will fail to set clear limits for
           children for fear of damaging the children’s
           self-esteem.
          
           In fact, it is precisely the creation of structure
           and limits that makes children feel loved and
           safe enough to try out their budding wings.
           When a sense of order,routine, and fairness
           permeates their lives, they thrive.
           That’s because they feel safe when they
           understand the rules you have created
           and your expectations for them.
          
           In making rules, parents should be firm, but
           not rigid nor permissive. Create rules
           that you can live with. At the same time,
           don’t make empty threats or waffle on
           discipline. If your daughter knows the
           rules are only enforced sometimes, she
           will not take them seriously and won’t
           behave as you’d like. When you say
           no, mean no.
          
           Parents should never use violence or
           any kind of psychological abuse to
           set rules. Abuse teaches that it is
           acceptable to use abuse as a means of
           getting what you want, and that is
           really sending the wrong message
           to kids and teens. This is the case
           since abuse breeds anger and resentment
           in children and especially teens.

            ~ Irene

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Irene Roth

Irene S. Roth, Freelance Writer for Teens, Tweens, and Kids

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