Irene's Secret Tips, Products, and Interviews Geared Towards Showing Adolescent Girls How to Thrive and Excel in Our Cultural Times!

WISDOM WEDNESDAYS

Posted on: October 20, 2010

            
              Honesty between Mother and Daughter
                           
              Honesty is one of the most important virtues
              that you could foster with your mother to
              develop a loving mother-daughter relationship.
              Sometimes, honesty can hurt. But being honest
              with respect is the way to go.
             
              Many times, mothers and daughters don’t
              take the time to express themselves to each
              other clearly. They scream or pout. Or they
              simply give each other the silent treatment. But
              is this really communicating?
             
              I found in my case that honesty is the hardest
              virtue to develop with my Mom. The more
              honest I tried to be, the more she disliked what
              I said and what I stood for. This certainly sent a
              lot of contradicting messages for me. There
              were times that I didn’t know what to do. And
              this really frustrated me.
             
              Being brought up in a religious home, I
              would thing that honesty would be an
              important trait. And my mother was sometimes
              brutally honest with me. But I couldn’t be
              brutally honest with my Mom sadly. I had to
              talk to her through a mask of acceptance and
              recognition. I wanted my Mom to love me no
              matter what. But there were times that she
              didn’t because of my honesty.
             
              So, what can you do if this is happening with
              your Mom?
             
              1.  Try and be honest with your mom
              anyway. Sometime persistence is the key. I
              know that it was in my case. My Mom ended
              up understanding me. It just took many years.
             
              2.  Never undervalue who you truly are,
              even if your Mom doesn’t approve of what you
              are doing. Your mom may be really frustrated
              because you are growing up too fast. But this is
              her frustration and not yours.
             
              3.  Always practise honesty, with respect, of
              course. This means you should speak your
              truth to her, regardless of whether or not she
              approves of it.
             
              4.  Never compromise who you are. Always
              assert who you are, again, with respect. Don’t
              put your Mom down intentionally. But make
              sure that you assert yourself too.
             
              5.  Meet your Mom halfway. But never let
              her constantly put you down. This isn’t good
              for you or for your relations with her.
             
              Good luck and all the best!
              ~ Irene

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Irene Roth

Irene S. Roth, Freelance Writer for Teens, Tweens, and Kids

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