Archive for December 1st, 2010
Guest Blogger Arina Nikitina
Posted December 1, 2010
on: 7 Ways To Become A Good Friend
By Arina Nikitina
What a strange life it would be to be alone, without
friends. It would mean all hours of the day spent on
your own lonesome, without much to look forward
to aside from work, sleep and more hours spent alone.
It’s not just strange; it’s lonely as well, almost a life
without meaningful fun.
At this point how thankful you must be to have
friends! There is no day I don’t openly or silently
express gratitude for friendship, especially the
ones I have kept for a long time. Among life’s nicest
things to have, my friends would be on the top area
of the list. But probably, it would be best to be
someone’s friend as well.
But what does it take to be called a friend? What are
the ways to become a good friend and not just
someone people know? After really serious thought,
this list came to its final form. This is my own
seven ways to become a good friend.
1. Be accepting. While many people are judgmental,
a good friend accepts the other without being critical.
Tolerating the choices, views and even weirdness of
your friends make you a pleasant company.
With you around, your friends need not pretend or be
uncomfortable and overly-conscious. The need to be
accepted is every person’s need; to truly accept your
friends for who they are leads to natural openness
in the relationship.
2. Be honest. It is still the best policy, no matter how
the world has changed. Honesty isn’t only about
telling the truth, it’s also about being true and being
clear about such truths. But at the same time,
such candor and frankness must also be coupled with
tact. Remember, just because you need to speak the
truth doesn’t mean you have to blurt it in a hurting,
offensive way. Be honest but be nice.
3. Be willing to listen. No one likes a person who
wants to be the center of attention all the time.
Friendships mean a healthy exchange of
communication, and that means apart from your talk,
you also need to listen. By listening, don’t just keep
your mouth shut until its time to speak; hear out the
thought, wisdom and meaning of what your friends
have to say. This way, you fully understand their point.
4. Be generous. Friends appreciate material gifts and
find the more expensive ones really awesome. But
more than presents and treats, a true friend is
generous with their time. Find ways to give attention
to friends who need you and to those who want to
celebrate or just have coffee. For friendships to
survive, the cycle of generosity must be nurtured and
kept going.
5. Be a positive presence. It’s not always fun, party
and celebrations in friendships. There are losses,
frustrations and painful moments in your friend’s life
that cannot be helped. But your presence alone is
powerful enough to help them cope. In your friends’
struggle, be a good supporter; in their better
moments, express your appreciation. Don’t just be
another person in your friend’s life. Instead, be a
happy force they would want to always have.
6. Be fun, if not funny. You don’t need to have the
stand-up comic abilities to be a good friend. But
definitely, be someone who loves laughter. Don’t
take life too seriously when you’re with friends
because it dampens their mood as well. Instead, let
loose and find the funny side to every situation.
Learn to crack jokes and be ready to hear their funny
tales as well. Let laughter ring through in your time
with friends and you will surely strengthen your bond.
7. Be a partner in new life explorations. Not all
friends do the same stuff, have just one hobbies and
share the same interests. If you’re up to it, spend time
with your friend as you learn their sport or watch
them perform on stage. For life-changing moments
like a new career, engagements or parenthood,
express your support as well. The best thing we could
get out of friendships goes beyond moments,
nice people and stuff we get from others. More often,
it is the better person that we become because of the
desire to be a good friend.
Arina Nikitina is a blogger who shares practical goal
setting, motivation, and productivity tips at
http://www.arinanikitina.com